“Shall we continue?” he asks.
“You’re the boss,” Stan replies.
“Can you walk through walls and doors?”
Cliff leans forward, appearing to be greatly interested in the forthcoming answer.
“I don’t know. I’ve never tried.”
“You’ve never tried to walk through a door?” Cliff asks with surprise.
“No, I really don’t have anywhere to go. I just walk from room to room.”
“How did you get here today?”
“It’s complicated and I’m not really comfortable talking about it, Cliff.”
“Do you want to try now?” queries Cliff.
“Not really. Can we just get on with this?”
“Why do you have somewhere to be?” the interviewer sneers.
“Oh, that’s it!”
The seemingly empty chair rocks backward. Backstage personnel are shoved left and right, tracking the path of the entity.
“Come back,” calls Cliff. “I’ll be nicer. I’m sorry.”
There is silence for what seems a long time. Cliff is startled when he hears the voice beside him.
“Any other questions?”
“Crap! You scared me,” Cliff says trying to catch his breath.
“Yeah, that’s kinda what I do.”
There’s a tone of satisfaction in the ghost’s voice.
“Okay,” Cliff says, “What is the best thing about being a ghost?”
“Not being interviewed by you that’s for sure.”
More chuckles from everyone not named Cliff Weston. Stan is silent as he thinks of a real answer.
“I guess I’d have to say not fearing death. You humans spend everyday on some level trying to avoid death. I am no longer constrained by that. I do whatever I want.”
“Other than leave the house?”
“Yes, other than that,” Stan is forced to admit.
“On the flip side of that. What do you miss most about being alive?”
“I’d say the food. Without a doubt. I tried to eat my first day as a ghost and was so disappointed,” Stan replies, longing evident in his voice.
“If you don’t eat how do you sustain your existence?”
“I really don’t know the answer to that one. I just woke up as a ghost. I can’t eat and I’ve never had to plug myself in. Maybe someday I’ll just wink away from existence, but until then.”
“Did it hurt when you died?”
“Dying was painless. It was the pain leading up to the dying that hurt,” replies the ghost.
“Is there a Heaven or Hell?” asks Mr. Weston.
“I’ve been sworn to secrecy, Cliff, but let me say this. I think I know where you’re headed.”
“Did you become all knowing when you died?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I already was. No, I’m kidding. I wish, but no I didn’t I still know what I knew, but nothing new. If that makes sense, Cliff?”
“I think it does,” Cliff looks at the camera with confusion. “Do you interact with other ghosts?”
“So because I’m a ghost I must know all the other ghosts?”
“I just meant…”
“I know what you meant. I was just riding you a bit. You really need to loosen up there, Cliffy boy. I really don’t ever run into other ghosts. They don’t come to my place I don’t go to theirs. It’s not like we have a social network or nightclubs or anything,” Stan answers.
“Final question. How is Elvis and have you seen him lately?”
“Ghostbusters? Really? That’s it. I’m done.”
The note cards that Mr. Weston is holding are yanked from his hand and flung into the air. The chair which Stan had until recently been using is lifted into the air and flung across the room seding people diving for cover. There is silence. Cliff stands.
“Where is he? Does anyone have him?”
No one replies. Suddenly there is a loud thud and a fire exit door rattles.
“Damn it!”
The door opens on its own and then closes. The alarm begins to sound.
“I guess that answers that question.” Cliff returns his gaze to the camera. “There you have it, ladies and gentlemen. That’s the ten things you wanted to know about ghosts. Uh, make that nine things you wanted to know about ghosts, but were afraid to ask. Have a good night.”
Cliff is given the signal that the camera has stopped rolling.
“That went well,” he says sarcastically. “What’s next and interview with the Loch Ness monster?”
The End
I enjoyed this short story, I look forward to more. I will have to check out the book
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